19 April 2012
Growing up too fast!
Looking for a little advice. Lately the subject of death and dying has come up with Harrison a few times. First around Easter when he learned about Jesus being resurrected in nursery and how "he died and then didn't die" and how the stone was gone when Mary came to find him (amazed at how much Harrison picks up from lessons--BLESS those awesome nursery leaders!). Then we went to Arlington cemetary a week and a half ago and he started asking lots questions about the soldiers buried there and how they died. Totally not prepared for that one. It's come up other times since with just random mentions of dying and how he doesn't want to die, etc. I've tried to explain as simply as possible that we die when we are really old and that when our bodies die our spirits are still around and that because of Jesus we can all be resurrected and live forever, etc. but I could probably do better and I know he's not quite getting it ("Jesus died, and then didn't die, and then died again!" or "the soldiers died and are under the grass and are really really little..."). Harrison seems to retain everything I say so when it comes back again I see his very literal view of my explanation and the inherent inaccuracies....Cory teaches 4/5 year olds in primary and is big on telling the truth to the extent possible and practical...so....how do you address death with a 3 year old? SO not ready for my baby to deal with real life topics! Can we just wait a little longer??
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3 comments:
Isn't it tough? We take every opportunity to really get excited about the resurrection part of death. It's really hard to explain though but we have the plan of salvation chart/lesson that shows our earth life as a step in an eternal scheme. That helps the best. The death part is still hard. It comes up when we get fish. Why do we keep buying them? I will never know. H was sent to you because you can teach/learn from him the best so you're doing a great job on this two way teaching/learning street we call parenting.
6 months ago, em asked me about how babies are born. i mean, really how they are made and born. i wasn't expecting her to drop that bomb. luckily i had been reading some material from joy school about it and actually had some boundaries and structure to explain without explaining too much.
it sneaks up on you quickly for sure! e, went through exactly what h is. she was fascinated by the concept and we worked on it for a long time...maybe even a year. there's so much violence and whatnot in the scriptures, and easter is a pretty intense story for kids. she was scared, even had nightmares, but we kept reassuring her and teaching her the plan of salvation as simply as possible and she gets it more or less now. moving helped her understand how we can be separated from people we love, but not gone forever. so the basic points for us have been:
1. all people and all living things come to earth and leave the earth
2. we lived with God before we came and we return to live with him afterwards
3. we will not be alone when we die, there are people already there that love us and will be with us (e was afraid of being alone)
4. we should never kill without reason (some reasons would be to eat, to keep our selves safe)
5. if we kill to eat, we must thank God for the gift of a life so we can be strong and healthy
all that said, she writes letters for "uncle jay" and sometimes cries about his death. then the opp to teach her that it's ok to feel her emotions presents... it's constant and i am proud of all you are doing with h and c! see you soon and hugs!
Thanks for the great advice! I think I was ok with generalities but then got a little nervous when we were sitting there in the cemetary and he was asking about the people actually buried there in the ground and trying to understand that. We're lucky not having dealt with a death of someone close or that h has met but I'm sure it will happen eventually. I also tell him about his grandpa crockett and am just waiting for him to ask where he is....anyway thank you both!
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